Slacker turned Professional

Yes Yes... don't balk! I am turning into a responsible team player...Its a joke... but please don't laugh!

I thought I could slack through my NUS life. I thought maybe i can escape the responsibilities of ex-co duties since being a CJC Track and Field Secretary. But everywhere I go....people think i am a responsible person. Even in Gan Eng Seng, I ended up as Scrabble Club President, thanks to Faiz....

Today, just being an ordinary committe member, i volunteered myself an IC for an HS-ICS event thinking that its just information relaying job. Just telling people what's going on and liaising with the IC from the other society. It went beyond that.... suddenly I am organising stuff and all... Thank god it did not turn out to be a major leadership oriented job. I just have to handle it from ICS side and HS is the main grp organinsing the event.... we are just here to help our sister society out!

But it will be a slightly busier week than usual. I have to go down with the gang to check out the PGP hall tomorrow. Than Friday.... got to meet the gals to help do the banner...before zipping down at 4pm to play soccer with the gang. Then Sat is the event called ALAKAR. Meeting the committee at 4.30pm, and i have to wear indian traditional clothes... LOL! The last time i wore indian clothes to school was during racial harmony day in sec4. i was even the EMCEE for the concert.... Even did a gig with the "all Blacks" . Remember tt one sherm and Faiz?? Truly good times....!!!

Also wanna take this opportunity to apologise to Chiobu Chan! don't worry dude....i will get ur reports edited by wednesday! u can say thanks once i have done them... LOL!

Well its off to watch united and hoping they won't embarass themselves again! Its Sparta Prague for pete's sake....don't screw up!

Reaffirmation

"Eye of the Tiger" - Survivor, OST Rocky series

It was another Friday. Another day of Soccer, Fun and mayhem with the gang. I came late (i am developing this awful habit of not being punctual these past few weeks) at around 4.30pm. And played till 8.30pm! Needless to say, I had a ball of a time!

But there were things I learnt on this day. Lessons that have been taught and learnt previously, but somehow lost in time and vice. Vices of laziness, lack of priorities and the lessening of willpower. When I played soccer today, I displayed tremendous tenacity, working hard for each ball and chasing every attacker that came down my side of the court with the ball. It was pure mental strength, playing game after game, and churning out the same amount of effort, working my socks off.

I then realised that I am not showing the same amount of tenacity, willpower and interest to the other aspects of my life. I am lazing through my life again, just like I did back in cjc. I regretted it and vowed to myself at that time that I won't do it again in NUS. But here I am, at it again. I always thought that I lacked the mental strength to push myself to my limits. I failed even in my track training. I never reached my true potential. I excite everyone with my potential but it dies out like a temporary dose of euphoria. That's because I lacked the strength to carry it through.

But today, that belief has been smashed. I do have it within me. I just need the interest and everything else will fall in place. I need the focus to see me through anything i have already set in motion. I must not forget the lessons the army has taught me. I have never fell out of any physical exercise, be it route march, mission or navigational exercise. I never did because I had pride that I was one of the fittest in the platoon. I was one of the smallest and I wanted to prove that I can still do it among the big and strong fellas. I also had to prove to all the manjans in my platoon that I can do it as well as them if not better. And I did it and got the nickname "Tamil Tiger"....And the fact that I am proud of what i had achieved. When you truly suffer for something, it becomes your prize, pride and joy.

Well the true test for me now lies ahead. 4 essays to hand in, in 2 weeks and 5 exams in a little more than 1 month. I need to to do it! I need to perservere and prove to myself more than anyone that I am not a spent force, with all that flash and potential but no real essence to clear the finishing line as strongly as i started. I cannot give up now and submerge into the rut that I am slowly sinking into.

I have to pick myself up and start running again.... I must.....I will.....


Quote of the day : "Courage, Merry! Courage for our Friends!" - Eowyn in the movie "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King"

The Non-Existent Monday Blues... They start on Tuesdays these days.....

"Manic Depression" - Jimi Hendrix!

It's monday and I have stayed true to my words.....

I have finally begun on my essays writing most of my history essay up and fine tuning my Political essay outline. Well I don't think I can procrastinate any longer. The coming weekend is the last one I have before the deadlines start to impose themselves on me. So its good that I got cracking on them.

Went to the temple today, more like yesterday by a few hours. Its the 16th day after my aunt's passing and there were prayers held for her "athma" to find "shanthi". Rest in peace for those who don't understand Sanskrit. Met up with my relatives yet again. It was only 6 months agon when another one of my aunt passed away. Looks my family of relavtives is getting smaller by the day.

Earlier on in the day, I went to the library to return my books and pay up fines. I renewed one book on SEAsian history so that I can start work on my SEA essay. Went to Cards and Such to buy a bday card for Lydia whose bday was on Sunday. Haha! David already bought her present and he tasked me to get the card. Actually I came up with the idea and he asked me to get it myself. Well I don't know lah.... I am blabbering as usual in the wee hours of the morning when civilised people are asleep and dreaming dreamless dreams.

Faiz gave me his usual sermon of fidelity. God help me by helping him. Guide his path and help him to stay his course. Help him in his thoughts and..... God are you there? Oh no..... I see St. Peter shake his head and tell me God is sleeping at the moment.... Sorry Faiz, you are on your own! LoLz! Well bro, please tread softly and think twice in anything and everything you do! Take a hint and be extreme to curb ur extremities which u awfully consider to be normalities... That's all I have to say....

Back to my ratty life, there is ICS meeting later today. The gang is meeting up to discuss the coming ICS event on Saturday. I wanna take this opportunity to credit Tahira. She's doing a great job heading the committee as president. And the rest of the gals and guys (puvan, vik and udaya) as well. I hope I don't disappoint you all by being the slacker that I am. Knowing me, the only thing that worries me is that I will be the one that screws up the good work of you guys! I am the weak link in the unit! So God help me as well!

Another late night for me tomorrow and I still have my history tutorial to do. I have to do it cuz Sophie is so nice and I hate to disappoint her! Don't worry sophie, I will get the stuff done and lots to say during your class! As of now, I have no date to watch "the barrel of a gun" in the library tomorrow. Asked Jingle but shez going with her girlfriends. Gek Hau has already watched it. Hmmm..... Maybe Jeff wang might watch it with me.... Gotta message him tomorrow morning....or in 5 hours time to be precise... *sigh*

My financial resources have taken a beating yet again.... I have 80bux in my account and will be holding out till Friday. I hope I save enough to get a decent pair of street soccer shoes and contribute my 50bux worth (along with my bro's 50bux) to get the Star Wars DVD. Times like these when I feel like robbing a bank. Or just robbing someone blind! Hahahaha!

Well I have been reading up Gandhi lately and I guess its about time i stopped my swearing and cursing ways and highly-exuberant methods of communication. Its time to be cool and calm! Who am I kidding? LoLz!

To Shermann and Clinton, hey guys chill! Don't take too much notice of my previous blog entry. Its just a fact of life.... something worth pondering about but nothing to be worried about. Being aware is all one needs to be ok in life. Like what Buddha said.... "ignorance is the cause of all misery" To be happy or content, just be aware and concious of the decisions you make....

I think the advice was more for me than anyone else when I think about it..... hahaha!

Well about time I go to bed. Take care folks....see ya in 24hours..! =)

History repeats itself - The novelty of it!

"Cursed" - Robbie Williams

Sunday....

I have been touched by a moment of reflection.... Something that i have been thinking about these past few days....

The idea of History repeating itself.....

Why does history repeat itself? Is it just merely a figment of Man's perception? Perhaps its just a recurrence of Man's cycle of behaviour? Maybe someone just noticed that the same kind of bad patterns of activity keep occuring in his life from time to time?

So many questions.... just how I like it...

There are 2 ways of looking at this trend of thought.... History can be repeating itself because a wrong has to be righted or a second chance is available after a disastrously bad occurence in the past. A second chance to make things right or to resolve a previously nagging issue.

Another way is because maybe Makind can never escape from the fact that no matter how one frowns upon a certain aspect of life....it just comes back to bite them back in the ass... Confused? Take for an example that a guy loved this gal.... but she screwed his life up. This cycle repeats itself over and over again as he gets in and out of a one relationship after another. He vows himself that he should be single and try to resolve his life and be wiser... But he juz sinks back into the cycle again.... History repeats itself...

Well, I believe he has to keep trying.... and maybe the example i used was wrong....but its the only popularized one i can think of....

Its only human we keep trying in life. Its natural for us to be foolish in our ideals or cynical as we wade through the pool of negativity with fins of sarcasm and doubt clouding our vision like a pair of blurred goggles. As much as we try to warn our friend of the mistakes that they are going to be making again.... chances are we are inevitably going down the similar path running parallel to the one your friend is treading on.

Foolish human.....
Blind with your eyes wide open..
deaf with your ears hearing only sounds
mouth moving to the sounds of muted noise.
feeling nothing, oblivious to the pain,
despite the blood streaming from your wounds.
You have suffered similar fates....
yet you tread this path again....
knowing that you have no choice but
endure the life you have chosen to live....

Foolish human....
your time is up
the devil has come
he is asking for you...
walking down the streets
calling your name...

Foolish human...
don't resist the pull....
don't persist your existence...
you have existed long enough
when your bags have already been packed.

Foolish human...
HUSH....
Can you hear the hounds bay?
Can you see the darkness approaching?
Its happening all over again...
The devil steps on ur doorstep again....
Answer the door....

Foolish human....
I am.....

Well we are who we are in the end... We cannot deny what we are..... Creatures of habit and circumstances...

80s LoVe sOnGs bAd FoR HealtH!

Just Nod ya head - Will Smith! (Luv the MTV.....The dude rocks!)

Another day spent doing nothing. I printed out material to work on my history essay but time just got wasted away as i struggle to find the inspiration to get me on the roll to finish my work....

So I feel blogging abit can help me get my juices goin in the right flavour....

A day of World Cup qualifiers. Watched England beat Wales 2-0. Hats off to beckaham's fantastic second half strike... It was really a top class strike.... Wished he was still at Old Trafford... Czech beat the romanians 1-0 tho only a penalty strike by Jan koller was the only thing that seperated the 2 teams. Nevertheless I made some money out of that match. Say a cool 50bux! can feed me for the next 2 weeks at least and still have some spare to catch a movie....

Just realised, listening to too many 80's love songs can be detrimental to my mental health but i can't help downloading classics like "Mandy", "glory of love", "nothing's gonna change my love for you" and the likes.... The detrimental part comes when ur loneliness is amplified by the music. Suddenly you feel alone and unwanted..... you feel lost and start feeling sorry for yourself....

Trust me....that feeling sucks.... Times like these when some "alternative" music helps.... Robbie Williams' "karmakiller", "No regrets", "Cursed" and even "X gonna give it to ya" by DMX and 'shake ya tailfeather" from P diddy/nelly/murphy lee can get me amped and get me feeling like a million bucks just because I am single..... LolZ!

Yes Yes...I know.... Midnight Neurosis has hit downtown Prak!

*starts giggling like a girl* LOLZ!

Anyway I just read faiz's blog and it seems he has got a new girlfriend.... Rachel was it? No wonder that fella has been quiet these few days..... more like the whole of the past month! So typical of him! Anyway, I just hope he is fine and does not get into the usual trouble he is famous for getting into.... Good luck chum! Guess singlehood's a no no for him!

Not everyone is like you Prak! The pillar of singlehood! The High Protector of Male Virginity!
All hail merciful Prak!

Anyway, I have got overdue libraray books to return. Maybe pay the local library a visit to return em books and work on my history essay tomorrow. I have to sit in tomorrow as well and look after my bro as my parents will be involved in my aunt's "16th day after funeral" proceedings. It will be just my bro and me as the Kings of #10-964! Yay!

Anyway Jingle came just online and she had gotten locked out of her own room. Poor girl actually cried! Aiyo...poor thing! Girl, just bash the lock down.... Dun beg with it ok! its not gonna say yes! Show no mercy!

Ok i just taught a nice person how to be brutal.... I think I better shut up now before my midnite neurosis start making me do things I will never do even when i am mildly insane! LoLz!

ok the Croat match just started..... Hope they win.... Or else my old man will throw a tantrum for losing his bet! *crosses fingers*

Women....Love em or Hate em....

Let me state beforehand that this aint a male chauvanist cum anti-feminist attack..... its just my personal opinion...

Went to play soccer with the makkals of NUS. Or in sherm's words, The Niggas of NUS, although at least half of em are not from NUS. As usual it was a blast! BUT this is where the bummer part comes in! The Netballers came down and told us they wanted to use the court.

*sigh*

There was a group of manjans playing at the other court. Why not ask them? You think a bunch of indians are pushovers. However us blokes were nice fellas and i admit they did ask nicely and gave us a half an hour cushion and did not show any face. That still did not quell my angst. C'mon Friday soccer is like so important to me and plus I did not play last week.... I was so amped to play but I guess its just too bad....

Women.... dunno whether to love em or hate em...

Anyway it was 6.30pm and we could not play soccer anymore. So we decided to go to the cheese prata shop. But as we made our way to the dressing areato bathe, an argument broke out between diablo and prakash (the other one) when prakash teased diablo about malavika. LoLz! I guess it was just the wrong thing said to the wrong person. Because of that diablo din join us fer cheese prata.... Guess he just needed to cool down... We had a ball of a time at the shop, basically just teasing each other and we split at 8.30pm.

Another day ends.... *sad* Time flies so fast when you are having fun........

Life's good!

Haha! Some of you might think that I have finally lost my marbles this time.
Well maybe... LoLz!

Anyway, the school week started very brightly. Although I woke up late and rushed to school for sociology tute, the sight that greeted me at the front of class blew my socks off....

IT WAS THE PORN STAR!

What in the world was she doing in my sociology class. I grinned like a mad loon at Gek Hau as I approached the back of class. Sociology just lost its Walrus-induced-boredom factor. And did the temperature juz sky rocket?

True to his nature, Gekus was oblivious to the porn star's presence in the class..... Haha! Dude, u need some socialization in the art of babe detection! After pointing it out to him that porn star was around with my usual highly energized gesticulation, he got the message. I also smsed my bro Sherm about my sudden elevation in the luck department! Score 2 - 0 to Prak as Sherm"the"mann got agitated by it! Hahaha! As I always say, every dog (and rat) has its day, and it was Rizzo's turn!

Barely 5 minutes after I left class, I ran into the Indian Goddess!

THANK YOU BENJAMIN! *chris tucker accent*

I wandered around aimlessly in school and ran into Jingle in the Central Library. Asked her what she's up to and she said nothing much. Had lunch? No. Another stroke of luck! So we proceeded to have lunch at the deck and hung out and linked up with Jonathan from Lit class. We were talking about the difficulty of making friends in NUS and that its hard to socialize with classmates. Well we agreed that at least our lit group of Diana, David, Mandy, Lydia, Jingle, Jonathan(nt in our lit group actually) and me managed to click! That's good enough for the moment I guess....

At 6pm after history lecture, went to YIH for ICS meeting and had a ball of a time with my newfound indian pals. After the meeting we had dinner at the Cheese Prata Shop outside NUS. Got a lift back home thx to Vik. Thanks bro!

Wednesday started late as well as this time I woke up at 9am. Lecture was at 10am. So another mad rush to school and being 30mins late. Realised that the Indian Goddess was not in town but surprisingly I was not too bothered about it. After lect, hung out with Sherm, jeff wang and gekus, having lunch first at Biz canteen and then hanging out at the library. Then at about 3pm, me and the serpent divine (shermann) hahaha! went to the grinnning gecko to get sum brownie. Actually it was more of him getting the brownie whilst i sat and watched him whallop his and still claiming that the brownie was not as good as it should be.... LOLZ!

Anyway me bro sherm got alil soft and said that we should not be calling porn star that anymore. I was like .... ok lah....i feel bad as well... So what do we call her then? Hahaha!

Thursday was a rather mellowed day. Had one lecture. Then just hung out with Mandy, David, Lydia and Jonathan. Jingle could not make it cuz she had a doctor's appointment. hmmmm! We had a ball of time.... David and Mandy were hyper.... that left me, lydia and jonathan to hold the fort of sanity although we soon succumbed to the madness....

Tomorrow will cap off a rather good week. Friday soccer is finally here again....

What a Frustrating end to the week!

*ALERT*

Major Bitching ahead!!!

I am sitting here frustrated to the max!

After a run of wonderful winning performances, Man united had to come back one down to force a draw with middlesborough at Old Trafford!!!! 20 plus chances at goal and only one got converted!!

I mean, no disrespect to sir alex ferguson, but c'mon for pete's sake. With a rather full team available and so much talent on the pitch with the likes of ruud, ronaldo, giggs, rooney and the strongest united back line ever this season, why in the BLOODY BLOODY BLOODY HELL, do u have to throw in a left back at central midfield??????

We are not playing AC milan or Real Madrid in which you have to throw in defensive holding players to neutralise the opposition midfield!!! its boro throwing in a 5 man strong midfield! If fenerbhace taught us anything, swift attackings players are not only necessary in the wings but also in the middle of the park. If on a normal day u throw in scholes giggs ronaldo and keane in midfield, are u trying to say O'Shea is the replacement for scholes! They POLES apart in GALACTIC terms!

Fergie finally woke up his idea and threw in alan smith in the 60 odd minutes and the new SPARKY scored one! this tells us 2 things!
1. Dun throw smith into oblivion when the full team is back! The dude carried united on his back when united started on their most horrendous start to a season. once ruud and rooney came back.... fergie juz chucked him aside.... I mean..... is this how u treat one of the heroes of the new Man united!!!

2. WHY O'SHEA??? U have liam miller, kleberson, djemba djemba, alan smith and even phil neville to play central midfield role! Why in GOD'S HOLY NAME is O'SHEA still playing in midfield! Fergie have you gone off your rockers????? I seriously dun blame the players fer the poor performance ( mabbe gary neville fer squandering 2 point blank chances) If the previous matches taught u anything, u can only eke out wins by a single goal or mere draws if u play O'Shea in cntrl midfield!

Well I hope Fergie wakes up his idea and throw in a more suitable player in central midfield role.... cuz the rest of the team does not deserve a tactical lapse like that! And Arsenal will not be giving any quarters 20 days from now!

I missed Friday soccer thanks to a bust up with my mum! Once again the differences we have in regards to my brother reared its ugly head! And i had to stay home to prove to my mum that i am concerned with my brother's revision process before his final exams.... If me staying at home makes a difference to his exam results, then i will gladly stay. The means must justify the end....

But other than that, everything has been going along fine. I joined up the NUS ICS ex-co. I am still wondering why i did that! Guess i just needed to find an avenue to make my nus life feel more like one....

Haha!